


fashion rules (breakable)

by doubt



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: High School AU, Multi, agender tyler, fashion club au, genderfluid fem dude josh, tags wil b added, youre gonna love him
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-24
Updated: 2016-06-24
Packaged: 2018-07-14 22:47:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7194032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doubt/pseuds/doubt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"tyler, i thought you told me the new kid was a dude?" tyler feels their heart stop.</p><p>"he is..." and they turn around to face ryan, who's got josh's head in between his skinny hands.</p><p>"so the new kid isn't this chick?"</p><p>and that's how ryan ross got kicked out of the alt fashion club of WC high and tyler joseph found themselves needing a replacement VP. "this chick" (who is, in fact, a dude) is perfect for the job.</p>
            </blockquote>





	fashion rules (breakable)

**Author's Note:**

> @america !stop glamorizin yr high schools its breakin my lil heart
> 
> t clear som things up:  
> i messd w their ages (joshs sibs r ??al ovr th place)  
> i mite post this on wattpad??  
> ryan is th token transphobe  
> tyler joseph is not a boy in any way shape or form  
> i appreciate comments  
> also im sry the 1st chapter is nearing 6k words
> 
> thas al !
> 
> 11/02/16 edit: im sorry i havent updated this i am so tired

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which josh pays for tyler to get pierced after knowing them for an hour, among other things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote ths a while ago i am sory if its bad but if its NOT leave comments nd shit

josh is...not ready to start at a new high school.

like, he’s totally ready to go by a different name than the one he was going by before, and he’s _totally_ ready to make better friends (sort of). but he really isn’t ready to move from the inner-city apartment he lived in with his dad, where he did school online and sometimes went to lectures in the uni of cincinnati, typing random things into webmd and drumming for a band he’s already forgotten the name of in his off time, to a house in the suburbs surrounding downtown columbus with his _mom_. and his _brother_. until said brother inevitably decides to move in with his girlfriend. it’s gonna happen, josh can feel it.

the thing he’s not ready for the most? christian school. he’s never been to christian school, since his parents split when he was three and he moved down to cincy with his dad and ashley, who was eighteen and moved out the next year, and he hasn’t actually been to columbus for more than three consecutive days since. and now he’s going to be living there, mostly to get away from his dad’s girlfriend. his dad’s first girlfriend in thirteen years.

he actually feels kinda sorry for his dad. like, first he has to raise this kid from age three to sixteen, with only a little help from his oldest daughter during the first year, in a cramped apartment which they _never moved out of ever_ _much to josh’s disappointment_ , and josh didn’t even go to proper school. except for sixth grade, but they don’t talk about sixth grade. and then when he’s like twelve this kid comes out as trans and changes his name seven thousand times between then and when he’s fifteen and decides he wants to move in with his mother. who lives a hundred miles northish.

what a rough thirteen years.

so josh throws bag number four of clothes into jordan’s van carelessly, shuts the door and climbs into the front. “i can’t believe a sixteen year old kid could have this much stuff,” jordan chuckles. “i mean, we’re just taking the clothes and your kit. dad and ab’s cars are full too.”

josh just shrugs.

“do you actually _wear_ all your clothes?” he shrugs again. jordan sighs. “i remember when i was your age. i swear i wasn’t as lethargic. mom would probably tell you different though.”

“mom counters _everything_ you say. either one of you could be telling the truth and i’m never going to find out who it is.”

jordan starts the van. this isn’t actually his, it’s his buddy pluto’s. josh doubts pluto is his real name, although once he was going by artemis so who is he to judge, really.

josh’s parents are lucky they only produced one identity-confused kid, and his mom is _especially_ lucky that she never really had to deal with him.

“this is gonna be a long ride and, oh, damn, there’s no ipod jack.” josh scoffs at jordan’s snickering. “i guess we’re just going to have to talk for the next two–”

“i have cds, numbskull.” josh lifts the box (scrawled on the side in black sharpie are the words “joshs cds”) onto his lap, pops open the case of _infinity on high_ and slots the disc into the radio. “this is the australian tour limited edition. five live tracks at the end. hey, reckon we can see fob live this year?”

it’s jordan’s turn to shrug. “i guess so. can you rake up enough money?”

josh narrows his eyes. “can’t you pay for it?”

the older dun scoffs. “i’m in college. you could babysit or something. i know you’ve had everything spoonfed to you until now, so you’ll have to ease into it.” josh can feel himself going red. “start with one ten year old at a time. you can work your way up to ms belleva’s one year old triplets, maybe by christmas if you catch on fast. also, how’d you get the australian tour edition?”

josh sits back in his seat. “i got it off ebay for thirty bucks,” he mumbles. the chorus of thriller starts as jordan pulls onto the highway.

“long live the car crash hearts, huh, kiddo?”

“shut up.”

-

they get to jordan’s (and now _josh’s_ ) house halfway through my chem’s greatest hits album. (“i can’t believe you’re such an emo,” jordan said when josh put the cd in.

“look, i cried when they broke up, okay? twelve year old jesse couldn’t deal with that kind of loss.”

“i can’t believe your name was _jesse_.”

“please shut up now.” and then they both sang along to every track, up to cancer, and now they’re here.)

“home sweet home.” jordan turns off the engine. “do you wanna unpack now?”

“nah, i’m hungry.” josh unclicks his seatbelt and opens the door. his mom is standing at the door. “hey, mom. guess we’ll be...” he gestures to the house, “living together for the next, what, two years?”

“that’s the plan, honey. how was the trip? you boys didn’t get lost or anything? jordan, did you let josh drive at all?” and there’s one thing that josh loves about his mom: her acceptance of him and his gender and his _name_. that’s the most important part, he thinks, his name. since he changes it so often.

he reckons he’s gonna stick with josh for a while, though. he can feel it.

“you two should come inside. i’m making casserole for dinner.”

“oh, sweet!” jordan runs in. “i’ll like, set the table.”

josh hugs his mom (they’re the same height) and asks, “what’s the school like?”

“you don’t have to wear a uniform or anything, even though it’s a christian school. well, they _have_ a uniform, but you don’t have to wear it. and they’re big on basketball. mr joseph, he’s the principal, has two kids who go there, tyler and jay, they’re both on the varsity team. jay was homecoming king last year, too, and he was only a junior. i’ve met them both; they used to come around for dinner a lot. jordan dated their older sister maddie for a while.”

“maddie? doesn’t she play as well?”

“the whole family does. their mom’s a coach.”

“well sh– sheesh. how old’s tyler?”

“about the same age as you. in your grade, at least. got put up as a kid, i think.”

“oh. so, uh, no uniform?”

“no uniform. and there’s a music program if you wanna get into that, i know you drum.” laura wraps her youngest son in another hug. “i’m glad you’re moving in.”

“me too, mom.” as josh detaches from his mother, another car pulls up in the driveway. “is that dad?”

“it’s abbie.” abbie is the most stylish of the four dun siblings; while jordan is the college kid and effectively the baby of the family since josh is too independent for that, ashley is the college dropout who married her best friend platonically and works in an indie coffee shop in la, and josh isn’t yet in college and cares more about his aesthetic (messy gay teen with a fake id but you wouldn’t know that) than being trendy, abbie works in hr and can afford her really fancy car and nice house and those have _got_ to be new boots. jesus.

“hey, mom. hey, josh.”

“hey, abbie.” josh is slightly in awe of his sister. almost twenty six years old and not broke, being able to pass as one of the popular kids the age of her youngest brother. awe-inspiring. “where’d you get the shoes?”

“uptown. i can take you if you want. they had these really cool floral skates that definitely fit you. style-wise, i mean. they probably have your size.”

“mm, i don’t skate.”

“it’s cool.” abbie pushes her sunglasses up on her head and their mom hugs her.

“how was the drive?”

“i got lost and i had to call dad for directions. what’s for dinner?”

“casserole.”

“josh, how good are you at call of duty?” jordan calls from the living room.

“i thought you were setting the table!” laura calls back.

“i’m done already! josh!”

“i’m, uh. i’m okay, i guess.” josh turns back to his mom. “i’m gonna go inside.”

“okay. have fun, sweetie.”

-

the week before school starts flies by. josh spends most of it in his room or shopping, except sunday. because the doorbell rings at nine am and he’s the only one awake so he’s the one who has to get it and all four and a half thousand words play out from there.

he pulls on a bra, a tank top (one with obnoxiously large armholes. they’re everyone’s favorite kind of top) and the vans he ended up getting when abbie took him uptown and makes his way to the door.

“uh, hi?” he says to the two people standing there. they look like siblings close in age, although one is half a foot taller. the first thing josh notices about the other one is that they’re ridiculously cute and achieve the completely gender neutral look that josh strives for. unfair.

“hi, i’m. uh. you’re, you’re joshua, right?” the cute, comparatively short gender neutral one says.

“just josh. and yeah. who are you?”

“this is jay, i’m tyler, i–”

“your dad’s the principal at wch, right? joseph? do you have my timetable or something?”

“yeah, we do, and our dad’s also wondering if you wanna come to church with us since he’s really big on ‘getting to know new students’,” jay finishes. “he’s also really big on embarrassing his kids and asking things at inappropriate times.”

“uh, i can tell. timetable?”

“if you come with us.”

“i’ll have to ask my mom.”

“go ahead, service doesn’t start until ten.” josh rolls his eyes and tyler looks at their shoes. they’re the same ones that josh is wearing – floral vans. except tyler has these really soft-looking black and pink knee highs with bows on as well as fucking _black short shorts, what the hell that is not what josh expected people wore to church_ and josh is just wearing ankle socks and sweats. _is that a garter, he’s going to pass out he wasn’t ready for this kid to show up at his door at nine in the morning_.

“yeah, okay. she’s asleep.”

“do you really think she’ll mind? it’s _church_.”

josh shrugs. he hopes jay doesn’t shrug back because that’s his move. (if it was tyler he wouldn’t mind as much.) “you going straight there?” he almost snickers at the possibility. he can’t go straight anywhere. at all.

“we’ll stop for breakfast. on me.” jay crosses his arms.

“i’m in. give me twenty minutes.”

“least you’re not as bad as this kid.” tyler furrows their eyebrows as jay ruffles their hair. it’s streaked with pastel pink. _god_. how has josh not passed out yet? “he–”

“ _they_ ,” tyler corrects their brother. josh knows the feeling. their cheeks burn red, which isn’t a bad look on them at all.

“– _they_ took half an hour this morning, not including in the showe–”

“ _jay_ , shut up!”

“well, it takes me five minutes, ty.”

“that’s ‘cause you’re a dude.”

“and you’re not?”

“no, i’m not.” josh just stands there, watching as the siblings stop bickering. he doesn’t really want to intervene.

“you wanna come in?” he’s always been good at breaking tension. “i showered last night, i’ll just, like, do my makeup. and stuff.” oh, and tyler’s _makeup_ , gosh, what a cutie. they’ve got smudged wings and pink lips and that’s definitely a fake septum but it really suits them. what if they went and got their septa done together? josh would pay. he should suggest it.

tyler nods. “okay.”

“i’ll wait in the car,” jay says, before turning around.

tyler steps into the dun house quietly and josh closes the door behind them. “my brother’s sleeping, so like, don’t wake him up or whatever. if you want orange juice it’s in the fridge. TV’s in the living room. actually, you’d better not, i think that’s where jordan’s sleeping. maybe you should come upstairs.”

they shrug and it’s the cutest gesture josh has ever seen. “whatever.”

“okay, come on.” josh grasps tyler’s hand (he really isn’t thinking) and leads them up the stairwell. to his bedroom. he can’t trust this kid yet he’s letting them into his _bedroom_. at _nine am_. where he’s about to get _undressed_. and it’s _nine am_.

josh waltzes over to his closet. “you wouldn’t like, need help picking an outfit, would you? ‘cause i’m pretty good at that,” says tyler, who is standing in the middle of the room with their leg crossed over the other.

he shrugs. “sure. can you actually get away with that outfit?” tyler cocks an eyebrow. “what you’re wearing. like, it’s cute.” _especially the ass-framing shorts and the kitten collar, fuck_. “but it’s church.”

“our church isn’t, uh, conservative, if that’s what you mean.” tyler’s knees turn in toward each other.

“no, like, they let you wear short shorts?” tyler shrugs.

“if they kick me out it’s their loss. look, do you wanna skip church or something? or just like, not go at all? ‘cause i...” their sentence tapers off and their knees turn in even more than they did before. it’s  really...endearing. in a way.

“you...?”

“i’m not really lookin’ forward to it. my dad’ll kill me, but whatever. i can skip.”

“what about jay?”

“if i pay for his breakfast he’ll do anything. he owes me a big one anyway.”

“what does he owe you?” josh crosses his arms.

“he– d’you want me to help you pick your outfit or what?”

“tell me, _please_.”

“okay. i rigged the voting system so that he got homecoming king last year.” josh shakes his head.

“tyler joseph...”

“what? let’s pick your outfit, come on, wardrobe. how are your clothes organized?” tyler pushes past him and opens the wardrobe door.

“by color but like, that’s it.” they roll their eyes and push most of the clothes to the left (tyler is stronger than they seem, although, josh remembers, they do play basketball on the varsity team), leaving the pinks, blacks and whites. “oh, what, are we going to match?”

“sure, why not? are you comfortable in short shorts?”

“depends if we’re skipping church or not.” tyler rolls their eyes again.

“that’s your call, mister.”

“okay. yeah.”

“wear these.” tyler tosses josh a pair of pale pink short shorts. “and the vans. what about shirts? you wanna go for pastel punk or just pastel? do you bind?”

“i’m not bothered.” josh toes his vans off and pulls down his sweats while tyler’s back is turned and unfortunately is still getting the shorts on (they’re _tight_ ) when tyler turns back around to throw a black vest at him.

“wait, actually, hand that back, wear this.” they pass josh a flowy translucent black tee and don’t glance twice at him. and his hello kitty underwear. which he totally isn’t slightly ashamed of right now, nope. “i wear hello kitty underwear too, dun. it’s no big deal. we’re guys. wait, shit, that was bad, i’m not thinking, i, uh...?” tyler kind of waves their arms. “you’re a– i’m not a guy.”

“i’m genderfluid.”

“i’m agender.” they sit down on the cream carpet. “i’m, i’m really not thinking, fuck, it’s early and i’m sorry...”

“he/him pronouns. you didn’t misgender me.” josh sits down too.

“i misgendered my _self_.”

“happens to the best of us,” he replies quietly. he realizes that his shorts still aren’t all the way up when tyler’s phone buzzes.

“it’s jay. he wants to know ‘what’s keeping you’.” tyler’s fingers zoom across the keypad as they reply with _we’re nt goin t church dn if u wait 10 mins + drive us t the park ill buy breakfast_ and josh pulls his shorts up, before grabbing the ends of his tank top and yanking it off, replacing it with the flowy top.

“how do i look?”

“stunning. got any knee highs?” josh nods and stores the _stunning_ away in his mind. tyler is the stunning one by a long shot.

“yeah.” josh goes to his sock drawer and rifles for a few seconds. “these.” black and gray stripes.

“might need a garter belt.”

“no can do.” the mention of a garter belt causes josh’s eyes to slip back down to tyler’s thighs. they have pretty thighs, the kind josh would bite at during sex. _where did that come from?_

now he lowkey wants to suck this kid off.

great.

“never mind. makeup?”

“yeah. on that shelf.” as josh laces his vans, tyler glides on over to the makeup shelf, looking at the lipsticks first. they turn back to josh with a smirk.

“all your lipstick’s blowjob proof.”

 _this kid that you want to blow just mentioned blowjobs in reference to your lipstick. what do you do?_ josh shrugs, again. “well, it’s not called dickstick, is it?” _nice one, dun,_ he thinks for the half second before tyler almost chokes on their own laughter. josh looks on in mildly detached concern. “are you okay, tyler?”

“ _dickstick_. that sh– i’m sorry.” they start to cough and josh wonders if he should pat their back. “that should be a thing. dickstick.”

josh nods.

“as in, i’m gonna stick my dick in–”

instead of making a lewd comment about tyler’s dick (which is what he would normally do) or just letting them finish their sentence (which is what he probably should do), josh says, “ _oh my god_ , aren’t you meant to be at church?” he covers his face and tyler makes a noise of disinterest.

“this is better than church.”

“my _dick_ is better than church,” josh mutters, and apparently incapacitates tyler. “you’re going to wake my brother. or my _mom_.”

“okay, okay. i just. blowjob proof lipstick? have you ever actually given a blowjob?”

josh creases his eyebrows. “sure i have. once.” he creases his eyebrows even further. “what about _you_?”

“oh, honey, i’m not even gonna start.” and josh decides the way tyler says “honey” and implies that they’re no stranger to giving blowjobs is the single hottest thing on the planet. like, even hotter than their ass in those shorts, or the thought of them giving a blowjob. he almost busts a nut in his pants, well, his short shorts.

yikes.

“okay, so you should wear this lipstick–” tyler passes him a black _and as it’s been brought to his attention blowjob proof_ lipstick and scours the shelf for the matching lipliner, passing it off to josh, “–and _this_ eyeshadow–” it’s pink. it matches josh’s hair and brings out his eyes, “–and wings would look good on you, what do you think?” they cross their arms and open their mouth ( _they’ve got such hot lips god fucking damn josh wants to make out with them_ ) in concentration. “yeah, they would. one side in red and the other in black, for that mismatched emo slash goth edge.”

“jeez,” josh manages to say.

“and your eyebrows and skin are perfect, what the fuck. i can’t let you cover your freckles anyway.” josh feels blood rush to his cheeks and nose, right underneath said freckles. _god_ , he hates when people notice them. tyler giggles. “you’re _adorable_ , what the hell.”

“just do my makeup and let’s go.”

-

after holding his face still for ten minutes while tyler _runs their hands all over it_ , josh’s makeup is done. “you look so good i’m gonna cry.”

“don’t.” josh peeks in his mirror, and wow, tyler’s done a really good job. and his freckles are accentuated but not in a bad way? damn, this kid’s an artist. “okay, i don’t blame you, but please don’t cry.”

“you. you’re _art_ , alright.” josh nods.

“can we go?”

“yes, let’s do that.” tyler snaps out of it and pauses. “uh, you first.”

“ooh, jordan’s awake, good idea.” josh pulls open his bedroom door and pulls tyler out of his room. “he doesn’t bite. he’s probably just tired. wait, haven’t you two met?”

“um...probably.” josh takes tyler’s soft hand (it’s so _soft. what the hell_ ) in his and pulls him further down the stairs.

“well then you have nothing to be scared of.” what josh doesn’t know is that when they were twelve tyler had a really small crush on jordan. and josh is going to stay unenlightened about this because it isn’t important.

jordan is fully clothed and sitting on the kitchen bench, biting into his toast. “josh, you woke me up with your yelping. hey, tyler. good to see you.”

“uhm...” they both say at the same time.

“headed somewhere?”

“church. but not. uhm. we’re going to not-church?” tyler replies. josh hopes that jordan doesn’t notice their entwined hands, because he himself has only just done so.

“ooh, not-church. sounds not-churchy. have fun not going to church on this fine sunday church morning, kids. it would be a lovely day to go to church, don’t you think?” jay picks that moment to smash the car horn, and tyler darts out the front door, leading josh with them. “use protection!”

“shut up, jordan!” tyler is smirking again as they walk toward the car. “he means, um, he thinks you have a motorcycle, that, um–”

“get in, losers!” jay yells from the wheel. tyler squeaks slightly and tugs on josh’s hand and practically thrusts him into the backseat, crawling in next to him. “you took fifteen extra minutes so if you buy me breakfast _and_ let me go home you can have the car for the day. and i won’t tell dad you skipped church.”

“sweet! thank you, jayjay.” tyler leans into the driver’s seat and plants a kiss on jay’s cheek. he wipes it off immediately.

“gross. now you have to buy me a drink as well.”

“okay.” tyler bounces back into their seat and jerks the seatbelt over their torso ( _that’s not the only thing they can jerk_ , josh thinks, before remembering that despite all the self-referential bordering-on-fuckboyesque dick jokes he makes daily, he does not in fact have a penis. still, a boy can dream. and get surgery, hopefully) as jay steers the family car down josh’s street. “josh, what was that about me having a motorcycle?”

the driver turns around momentarily. “i’m listening.”

“um. uh. jordan thinks you– you have one, and that we were, uh, by ‘protection’ he meant a helmet, because he thinks i’m gonna ride it–”

“that’s not the only thing you’re gonna ride.”

jay laughs calmly but genuinely. “i love self-referential dick jokes.”

“i love drowning in lava,” josh replies, hiding his face in his hands.

“i love dicks and self-referential jokes about drowning in lava,” tyler adds.

“guess i’m the complete package then.” josh peeks out at them from behind his hands.

“marry me. or should i say,” tyler wiggles their brows in a manner that causes josh to be slightly afraid of what’s to come, “suck me off and then let me score the winning goal for my basketball championship game, at the end of which i get the cheerleaders to spell out ‘will you marry me, darling?’ in front of the whole school.”

“ty, you’re a point guard,” jay notes.

“but i can shoot, so who cares?”

“i can’t out-fuckboy that.” josh takes his hands away from his eyes. “i don’t even know if that’s something a fuckboy would do or if it’s just really corny.”

“dude, dude. my wise older brother once said, ‘the aim of a true fuckboy isn’t to be the _biggest_ fuckboy,’” jay says, catching the attention of both juniors, “‘it’s to fuck the biggest boys.’”

if josh had a pumpkin spice latte in hand, tyler would have grabbed it and taken a sip just to spit it out. so it’s lucky that he doesn’t because this is a new car. “did zack seriously say that?”

“yep.”

“i thought _i_ was the gay one in the family,” tyler groans. “not everyone else.”

“everyone’s gay, dude. except our parents. being gay is the norm and being in a happy heterosexual relationship just isn’t in anymore.”

“that logic’s kinda twisted.” tyler nods. “good.”

“you like twisted stuff, huh?” josh asks. tyler nods again, this time more vigorously.

“especially intestines!” they’re so chipper that josh almost forgets that they just said they _like intestines_. (who can blame them, really.) “intestines are really twisted. like, it’s twisted to like intestines, but on the other hand, intestines _themselves_ are twisted. y’get it?” josh nods.

“i like space and drumming, i guess. nothing super twisted.”

“dude, that’s sick! i play piano. i suck at it, though.”

“you don’t suck at piano. hey, what if you gave up basketball, ty?” jay inquires. “for music. you’re really good at both things, so you’d be like a real life troy bolton.”

“would i?”

“yeah. wildcats and worthington christian even have the same initials.”

“it’s a plan.”

“you’re gonna give up basketball for music so you can be a real life troy bolton?” josh raises his eyebrows. “okay, i’d do that for like, the meme.”

“do it for the meme, tyler.”

“yeah, i’ll do it. i’ll be a real life troy bolton.”

“i just wanna play drums and go to space.”

“that’s not auspicious at all, josh. you’re sensible. i like that. _don’t let ur dreams be dreams_ is easier advice to follow with your dreams as opposed to mine,” tyler replies. they’re dreamy.

“did you even hear me? i said i want to go to _space_. there’s a bigger distance between here and space than there is between a basketball court and an auditorium.”

“it really depends where the basketball court is, doesn’t it? i mean, if it’s on like, the other side of the _galaxy_ , for exa–”

“tyler! listen up, this is important. you’re buying me breakfast,” jay interrupts, and josh notices they’re in a mcdonald’s carpark. “and we’re going home. then i’m going back to bed and you can have the car. capeesh?”

“yeah, okay, what do you want, are you coming in?”

“nope.”

“aw, come on, man–”

“i’ll tell dad you skipped church.”

“alright! what do you want?” josh watches this interchange amusedly. he _knows_ he’s going to hang around tyler a lot. because they’ve got a good personality, not because he wants to see their o face. although there is that.

“hotcakes. and a coke and fries.”

“done. large?”

“of course.”

“josh, come on. don’t leave us here,” tyler warns, opening a door and grabbing josh’s hand once again.

“he’s not going to leave us here?”

“nup, he knows he owes me. jay’s not a dick.”

-

tyler was right, jay isn’t a dick and he didn’t leave them at mcdonald’s. “see, told you. here’s your hotcakes, dear.” they hand their brother the bag. “know what else is hot, and cakey?” they whisper to josh.

“oh my _god_.”

“it’s me. and you. us, together.”

“i can’t believe you’re seriously coming onto someone you’ve known an hour.” jay shakes his head and exits the parking lot.

“how do you know it’s serious, thomas?”

“i can just tell, robert.”

“hey, josh, what’s your middle name?” tyler asks, prying josh’s arm away from his face.

“william,” he mumbles.

“william? hey, william, suck me off.”

josh’s eyes go big. moon-big. bigger than the moon. the size of the sun. “william’s actually my dad’s name.”

“you’re wearing blowjob proof lipstick, honey.” and there it is again, dirty jokes paired with calling josh honey. he’s going to die before noon, he swears.

“not in the car.” jay cuts the engine outside their house. “go somewhere else. have fun, kids. use protection. maybe think about going to church.”

“never,” tyler replies as they climb into the front seat, before jay’s even fully exited the car. “josh, come up front.”

“alright?” he actually opens the door and gets out first, because it’s not his upholstery to ruin. “whose car even is this?”

“my mom’s. but it’s new and she already has a car and neither jay nor i do so it’s basically ours.”

josh nods. “do you actually have your permit?”

“right here.” they open the glovebox and pull out a plastic card. “see? that’s me. joseph, tyler robert.” josh doesn’t catch the birthday, but in the mugshot tyler’s staring directly into the camera with a look on their face that he could only describe as sarcastically apprehensive. “i hate this picture but that’s definitely me.” they hand josh the card. _december 01, 2000_.

“you’re fifteen?”

“sixteen in winter! that’s in...just over three months. i’m effectively sixteen.”

“fifteen and a half, then.” josh hands back the card.

“fine.” tyler sticks their permit back in the glovebox and reverses out of their driveway. “we have a date to go on.”

josh ignores this and tells tyler, “i’m already sixteen.”

“shit, when?”

“june.”

“fuck you, man, you’re like six months older than me.”

josh leans back in this chair. “yeah, fuck me.”

tyler sighs. “you’re kinda dreamy.” they’re on the main road now.

“don’t let your dreams be memes, ty.”

“don’t let me not take you on this date, joshie boy.” _that’s a nickname he can run with_.

“so is it like, an official date? i mean, it’s ten am, in the morning, and i’m not sure if my mom would agree with me dating on the first meet.”

“do you want it to be?” tyler glances over at josh. “also, it’s totally my dad’s fault.”

“okay.”

-

tyler ends up taking josh to the skate slash recreational park, which is full of community college kids and rebellious thirteen year olds. “remember how you were once like them?” tyler asks as they both seat themselves on the benches near the basketball hoop, referring to the thirteen year olds.

“not really. i always locked myself in my bedroom when i was thirteen. so my dad wouldn’t see my hair,” josh replied. “i thought he’d flip out every time i dyed it, and then he never did. he didn’t even say a word when i got my labret piercing.”

“labret piercings are kinda hot.” _shit, he’s totally going to wear his tomorrow_. “i wanna get my septum done – this is fake, by the way.” tyler waves their hand in the general direction of their nose. “the piercing, i mean, not my nose. my nose is real.”

“i can tell. about the piercing. i wasn’t sure about your nose. it’s like, perfectly shaped.”

the younger blushes. “thanks.” they bury their head in their stockinged knees and josh just looks at them for a little while. their thighs are pretty from this angle too.

“hey, we should do that,” he says after this little while.

“do what?” tyler lifts their head.

“there’s a piercing salon down the road, right? i wanna get my septum done too. we should do that.”

tyler shrugs. “my dad’s already going to kill me. but i’m not paying.”

“my dad lives in cincinnati so he can’t do anything. and i drove by yesterday, there’s a two-for-one special. it’s like thirty bucks, i’ll pay.”

“let’s do it.”

-

josh has never been intimidated by piercing salons because he used to go to them all the time with his cousins. he already has four piercings anyway. a fifth can’t hurt. well, sure, it might be painful, but it won’t _hurt_.

“i’ve never gotten anything pierced, josh.” tyler is shaking slightly in their seat.

“and you call yourself punk,” josh replies, tightening his grip on the kid’s hand. “there’s a first time for everything, babe.” _how did that slip out?_

“how old were you when you got all your piercings?”

“um.” he pauses to think. “eight when i got my ears, twelve when i got my nose, thirteen when i started to gauge my ears, fourteen when i got my labret and fifteen when i finished gauging my ears.”

“i reckon i’m gonna get my nipples done one day.”

“hot.”

“hotter than your labret.”

the person at the counter waves them up. “hi, what were you wanting today?”

“uh, we wanted to take advantage–” tyler snickers a little, “–of the two-for-one. we both want septa,” josh says.

“sept _ums_ ,” tyler corrects him.

“it’s septa. if you type septums into a word document it’s gonna get a squiggly red line under it.”

“fine, mr pedantic.”

“two septum piercings? is this the first piercing for either of you?”

“me.” tyler’s voice is kinda squeaky when they actually speak up and they clear their throat.

“they wanna be punk so they’re getting their septum pierced,” josh explains. “also, could i buy a labret ring? just a silver hoop.”

-

neither josh nor tyler felt weird about holding each other’s hands during the piercing process, funnily enough. “it doesn’t even hurt that much,” tyler says later, before nudging the piercing with their finger and yelping. they’re sitting in the mcdonald’s parking lot in tyler’s (mom’s) car drinking cokes with straws.

“it hurt more than my other piercings,” josh replies.

“it’s because of the cartilage.” josh nods. “this was definitely a good idea. what’s the time?”

“twelve.” he unlocks his phone and opens his messages. “what time are you planning on, like, ending the date?”

“dad wants me home at three. i can usually go out again after, but school goes back tomorrow so probably not.”

“leaves us three hours. what do you wanna do?”

josh sends _ill b home by abt 3 i think. if ur interested_ to jordan, who replies instantly with **ok. mom didnt ask where u were???**

“this is going to sound _so_ fuckboyish of me–”

“sex on the first date isn’t a don’t but i also just met you today so probably kissing is as far as i’ll go.” tyler opens their mouth and closes it.

“jeez, this is such a weird situation.”

josh slurps really loudly from his drink. “yep.”

_she probably figured It Out + i gtg_

**k cya** josh puts his phone back in his pocket.

“and you’re wearing blowjob proof lipstick.”

“second date, ty. i’ll blow you on the second date.” and josh has no idea what he’s doing but tyler essentially suggested that they kiss, so. that’s what they do.

and then some angry-looking guy walks past the car and tyler catches his eye accidentally so they say, “yours?” and josh nods frantically. _yo jord im gonna be home early. like in ten mins_

**did u get dumped**

_nah we got caught making out in a parking lot_

**uSE PROTECTION**

josh silences his phone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i promise i didnt write almst 6k words of dialogue on purpose but it took me 8 consecutive hrs
> 
> props 2 u if u read it
> 
> comment n stuf

**Author's Note:**

> this is so shit i'm?


End file.
